The apology came in the early hours of this morning, when the more responsible elements of society would have been in bed, ready for a new working week. Penned on an iPad Pro, with a Bluetooth keyboard, the apology went on to detail all of the issues that have been attributed to the generation over the years and went some way to explain just how we have got to this stage of existence as a society. Many Gen X commentators have said this apology comes too little too late, whilst others decided to take to Facebook to voice their feelings to friends they haven't spoken to since High School and family they haven't seen since that incident at Christmas in 1982.
The letter, which contained surprisingly little text speak and actually grasped the English language somewhat responsibly, was less than a 1000 words in length and can be seen in its entirety below:
Dear Generation X and those that came before,
On behalf of all Millennials, the exact age range cannot be agreed upon so for arguments sake let's decide now that the term incorporates those born towards the end of the 80s also, we would like to apologise at the devastation we have wrought on the world, the economy and the imprint we have left in many of your lives. Despite being brought into a broken world, with the abuse of the world's natural resources lowering the planet's sustainability to a tipping point that was passed around the time we graduated from nappies, it does not give us the right to think that we, a generation coerced into educational debt to achieve qualifications for use on an over-saturated job market, know better.
Not only are we responsible for the death of churchgoing, sitcoms, and paper napkins, instead opting, clearly wrongly, that science based fact, binge-watching a series on Netflix and a paper towel will do, we have also caused untold damage to the housing market. Less and less of us are moving out of our parents at a reasonable age and are not filtering our wages into the housing market, causing an unmistakable crisis in the building sector. Of course our frugal wages should go on nothing else but the inflated price tag for a new home that will see us in debt until retirement. The wasted income on the rare occasion we decide to eat out and fund the local economy should be discouraged, we see that now.
With Apps at our disposal like Tinder you may be correct in labelling us the 'hook up' generation despite the fact teen pregnancies are on the decrease, we have of course misled you for years in regards to this. We would also like to apologise for killing the terms boyfriend and girlfriend, instead opting for the supremacy of the term partner which can be used inclusively of our LGBTQ+ friends. It's unreasonable and selfish for us to ask for inclusiveness when such staple norms of society are on the cusp of being erased from the Oxford English Dictionary.
We hope this letter finds you well and in good spirits, read only after tea time once you have placed the children to bed after coming home from your 9 to 5 job whilst your wife dutifully does the dishes after a heartily prepared meal. Few among our number know this kind of responsibility of course. We leave at your mercy and with further apologies for past and potential future transgressions .
33% of the Population World Wide
Founder and Writer